Her Words, Her Thoughts, Their Love
by DeynaAU
Summary: Rayna is alive. Deacon discovers her journal and begins reading it. What will he find? Does he find the Rayna he knows or a stranger?
1. Chapter 1

Her Words, Her Thoughts, Their Love

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. I am borrowing from the genius of Callie Khoury and the incredible acting of Connie Britton and Charles Esten. PLEASE REVIEW.

Deacon felt like he was violating Rayna's trust, but he couldn't stop reading her journal. He felt he knew her as well as anyone can know another, but his exploration was like striping her bare.

He sat on the settee and opened the journal randomly. September 25, 1982. Before he started reading, he tried to recall where they were at that time in their lives. By that time, they were living in the house in East Nashville. Just the two of them. Vince had passed away in July. It was a dark time for him. September 25th was around when he entered his third stint in rehab.

It was a messy time. He had hit Rayna by accident and missed several performances. She was trying to be patient with him, but his drinking escalated as he tried to wash the memory of the crash and Vince's death from his memory. He couldn't exorcise the demons. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Vince sliced in half and heard him talking as Deacon looked on in shock. He lasted four minutes like that until he finally looked at Deacon and said, "I love you, bro. Tell Rayna she'll never find a drummer as good as me." A card to the end.

September 25, 1982  
_I never thought my heart could hurt so bad. It feels like it was ripped from my body, smashed against the wall, strangled and put back in my chest. I can barely breath. I thought when mama died, I had experienced the most pain I ever would in my life, but this is one thousand times worse._

_Deacon was my salvation. He offered me unconditional love. He knows me like no other human can know another. He is my second skin. He is my muse. He is what makes my heart beat._

_Yet, he doesn't love me more than the alcohol. I want to help him, but he doesn't feel we're worth it. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I can't live without him. I don't want to live. There is nothing and no one to live for._

The writing on the page got sloppier as she poured out her heart and the last words on the page trailed off the edge of the paper.

Deacon gasped, and a sob escaped his lips. He knew his drinking hurt her, but to see the words, shocked his system and re-surfaced the guilt he still carried with him.

He went in the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face and got control of his emotions. He sprawled on the bed and listened for any movement in the house. It was still quiet. He reached again for the journal and opened it to the next page.

September 29, 1982  
_When I finally opened my eyes, Tandy was there. She looked scared and pissed, but mostly relieved. She touched my face, like mama would when I skinned my knee or was teased at school and started crying. "Rayna Alisia Wyatt, don't you scare me like that again!" She scolded._

_I looked at her puzzled and looked around the stark white room. Where was I? What was going on?_

_"All of this", and she gestured at the tubes running in my arms and the mask around my face, "because of him!" Then I knew where I was. The hospital. I was just here several days ago watching as they pumped Deacon's stomach not once, not twice, but three times before he was cleared. He laid on a gurney as pale as the sheet on top of him. He looked strung out, emaciated, unshaven, dirty. I was convinced this time was the time that he was going to join Vince._

_Tandy shook me back to reality. "You would be dead if I didn't stop by your place to check on you when you didn't answer the phone." I remember looking at her still not fully following what she was saying._

_She picked up a bottle of pills. "You swallowed all of these. His pills." The way she said it, it was like Deacon forced them down my throat. "Why? He's not worth it honey. He's a drunk and he's not worthy of you."_

_I didn't have the strength to argue with her. I am so ashamed of what I'd done. I shook my head vigorously side to side as tears ran down my cheeks._

_Tandy tried to sooth me, regretting her words. She wiped my tears and took my hand. "Oh, Rayna, what am I going to do with you?"_

_I grabbed the mask, pulled it down and asked, "Deacon?"_

_She sighed. Exasperated and annoyed by my question, but she knew what I wanted to know. "He doesn't know. He's still in rehab. He called me the other day when he couldn't get in touch with you and I told him I sent you to the spa. You needed some time and space before you could talk to him."_

_"How did he sound?"_

_"He sounded contrite and tired. Ok. I think that's enough for now. Let me get Charlie and let him know you're conscious. We need to know what's next."  
_

He just stared at the page. Rayna tried to kill herself because of him. She always seemed so in control. He knew she was vulnerable and knew how much her mother's death left a lasting hole in her heart. But this?

Deacon's eyes were filled with tears that dripped onto the page. His nose was running, and he was shaking.

Just then, Rayna walked in. "Hey, babe..." she said surprised to see him there in the middle of the day. Then she stopped. Her eyes scanned quickly from him to the journal and back again.

He looked at her and said in a strangled voice, "Ray, I never knew. I'm so sorry, babe."

Recognition ran through her mind. Her hand flew to her mouth and she turned around and ran out of the room. He scurried to his feet and went after her. She flew out the front door and headed out back to the pool area. She stopped and he could see her body shaking.

"Ray?" he simply asked. Then he reached out and embraced her. He kissed her head and stroked her back. "Baby, why? Why didn't you tell me? How did I not know?"

"Just another lie from my past. I'm mortified, babe. That I did it. That I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to carry that guilt around. With all the other demons you were trying to exorcise, you didn't need that."

She continued. "I was a rising country star. For me and for you, I didn't want anyone to know. Tandy, Charlie, a nurse and I, and eventually daddy, were the only ones that knew. Tandy paid off the nurse and when she divorced Charlie, he got quit the settlement to keep quiet. Daddy was furious with me...and you...when he found out. I threatened to do it again if he ever told you. And, daddy didn't dare challenge me. He knew I was headstrong and a woman of my word."

"That you are, my dear," Deacon said as he rubbed Rayna's arms. "No wonder Lamar and Tandy hated me so much. But what I don't get, Ray, is why you didn't tell me and how you could leave me, marry Teddy and almost marry Luke if you loved me so much."

"Babe, I've always loved you and I never left you. I may not have been married to you, but you've always had my heart. I…I just couldn't tell you. I know everyone looks to me as the strong one. I'm not strong, Deacon. I'm nothing without you. I put on a good show. I let you take all the blame for so many years. I have so many sins that I carry around that weigh heavy on my heart. This is one and your pain is another."

Rayna continued as Deacon looked on puzzled. "I didn't want you to relapse and I was scared of the power you had over me. If I wasn't with you, you couldn't leave me like my momma did. When we were together, every time you disappeared it broke me in two, babe. I had to gain the courage to face the fear, because only when we stare our fears in the face can we experience true, unencumbered joy."

"I probably, well not just probably, I do, hold on to you and the girls too tightly, because I can't face losing you or them. Y'all are the most important people in my life."

Rayna, pleaded, "Deacon, promise me"

"Anything, babe."

"Don't ever leave me and forget about this."

"Babe, I made a vow and I fully intend to keep that vow. I love you and those girls more than life itself. I would do anything for you. You are worth all the riches in the world, Ray."

"Promise me."

"What now?"

"That you'll love yourself and be as good to yourself as you are to me and the girls."

Deacon snickered, "I can't deny you anything woman."

"Really?"

"Really. Want me to show you."

"Yeah I want you to show me," Rayna said in a husky voice, starved to be one with him.

He gently turned her in his arms so she could see the beautiful sunset. He brushed the hair from her neck and began peppering her with gentle kisses. His hands brushed her arms and danced over them sending a chill down her spine. His hands rested on her stomach. Rayna closed her eyes and mewed, swept up by the moment and the feel of him wrapped around her. She felt safe and strong in his arms. She felt loved.

His hands slid down her stomach to the front of her jeans and rubbed her clit through the thick material. Rayna moved with his touch and moaned. She could feel him starting to get hard. She pushed against him moving her butt in circles teasing him until she could feel his bulge max out and Deacon start to groan. "You know how to get my motor going, babe." And with that, he gripped her hips and turned her toward him and rubbed his bulge against her. His lips found hers and his tongue made itself at home in her mouth, exploring, tasting.

He cautiously began walking her back to the double lounge chair. He gently nudged her down until she fell safely onto the thick cushion. Her eyes flew open, silently questioning him.

"I want to make love to you, here, under the stars. I want to hear you call my name so all the universe can hear and know you're mine. I want to be one with you so that you can't tell your bones from mine."

Rayna smirked and said in a husky voice, "Oh, God, man, just make love to me already."

Deacon reached down and gently caressed her face, lit by the soft pool light, and began unbuttoning her blouse, kissing the skin he exposed as he proceeded. When she was unbuttoned completely, he pushed the blouse over her shoulders and down her arms. Rayna kept eye contact, amazed by the way he still worshipped her body.

His rough, calloused, fingers trailed up her exposed torso and gripped her ample bosoms. Of all her physical attributes, she knew how much he enjoyed her breasts. He reached around behind her and in one swift motion popped her bra hooks. Impatient to taste and tease her, he pushed the bra up and latched onto her right breast while rubbing the left. To tell the truth Rayna enjoyed his suckling immensely. His tongue laved her, and his teeth pulled on her nipple until her nub was hard as a pebble. He switched to her left breast and did the same until Rayna grabbed his hand and pushed it between her legs.

Deacon smiled against her lips and rubbed her through her jeans while Rayna pushed into his hand and started to raise his shirt over his head.

"Deacon, I love you so damn much man," she whispered as she explored his body, nibbling on his neck and inching down his chest. "I couldn't imagine my life without you. You're my everything. None of this means anything without you."

"Ray, promise me."

"Anything, babe."

"Promise me you'll never ever think about doing that again. Know that I have, and I always will love you more than the stars in the sky; the water in the ocean; the grains of sand on the beach." And as he ticked off the ways he loved her he moved his mouth down to the top of her jeans and traced a wet line below her belly button then he kissed along the zipper line of her jeans before he started to relieve her of them.

Rayna gasped when he drew them down her legs along with her black lace panties.

"Right there," Deacon said pointing to her super sexy undergarment, "is why you drive me crazy. You are hot," and his tongue laved her core. "You are sexy," and he sucked here clit. "You are my world," and his tongue found her entrance and slid in.

"Oh, God Deacon, this is why I can't live without you. You are the only man that can put me in a sexual frenzy." Rayna was breathing hard and bucking against him. She couldn't take it anymore. She came so hard, she screamed his name at the top of her lungs. Thank goodness the girls were out for the night and the neighbors were far enough away that they wouldn't be able to hear them.

He held her until she stopped quivering. She felt so content in his arms. When she finally calmed her body, she pushed him over and got on top of him.

"Ray...what?"

"Shhhhh. I want to show you how much I love you, too."

She slid her body down his toned torso and placed her hands under his firm ass. She gave him a little squeeze. He knew what was coming next and far be it from him to deny her. Deacon closed his eyes and smiled contentedly as Rayna took him in her mouth, that magical mouth. He had been with a lot of women, but the fact that he was Rayna's first and she was eager to learn and please him, meant that she knew exactly what to do to fulfill his every desire.

She massaged his balls while her tongue worked on his rock-hard member. Up and down and around and over the tip. Then she took him into her mouth and down her throat to the hilt and worked him over.

"Ray, baby, I'm not going to last much longer, let me finish inside you."

Rayna released his penis with a pop and he immediately rolled her onto her back and spread her legs with his knee. He was about to explode. He slammed into her and she let out a little scream. His size always took a little bit to accommodate, but Deacon couldn't wait, he needed his release. He pumped in and out of her like a steam engine gaining momentum until his body stiffened and he exploded inside her. Rayna did the same, so turned on by getting him worked up, and him hitting her in just the right spot.

Spent, he collapsed on her and she grasped him tightly as she went over the edge yet again. Good lord Deacon was a stud!

Tears then started to leak from her eyes.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Absolutely nothing. These are happy tears. Happy that I'm alive. Happy that we have this time together. Happy that we have our family together. I love you so, so much, Deacon."

"And, I, you, Ray. Can I ask you a favor though?"

"Anything. I can't deny you either."

"Can we read your diary together? I know it's very personal, but I want to know how I was in your life when we weren't together and when we were. I want to know about Maddie and what was going on in her life."

Rayna was quiet, she just looked deep in his eyes.

"You don't have to say, 'yes', but it would mean a lot to me. I don't want to sneak."

The tears started again, and Deacon started to speak when Rayna pressed her fingers to his lips. "Deacon, I'm naked around you. We've bared our souls to each other. If you want to know about those times, I'm okay with us reading my diary together. I'm crying because I think it's beautiful and honest and heartfelt that you want to do this. There are parts that will be hard for both of us to read, but we know the end of the story and it's a beautiful ending, so yeah, babe, let's do this."

Deacon stroked her face and gently kissed her. "Thank you."

A simple expression of appreciation sealed their love and started an amazing journey of rediscovering their love and putting a rest to all the secrets for good.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Guitar Strap

The Guitar Strap

"Where ya headed girls?" Deacon inquired as Maddie and Daphne went racing by.

"We told you. Scarlett is taking us to the Bridgestone to see Kelly Clarkson." Daphne responded excitedly.

"I knew that. Have a good time."

When Rayna came home later, she asked after the girls also.

Deacon chuckled. "Glad I'm not the only one with a bad memory. The girls are going to the Kelly Clarkson concert with Scarlett."

"Guess it's just us tonight, old man."

"Who ya calling 'old'? This 'old' man was able to sex you up like a young stud, not once, not twice, but three times last night."

"Okay, okay. When it comes to that you are as virile as a 29-year-old, babe. And, I am one lucky lady," Rayna conceded. "So, the big 5-0 is right around the corner," Rayna continued. "Any hints for what you might like?"

"I dunno, babe. I don't want a damn party. You better not have a party for me. One every 50 years is good enough for me. While I appreciated Juliette's efforts last year, I don't want a repeat performance. 'Sides, I have everything I could possibly want with you and the girls. And you know, I'm happy with watching Old Yeller."

"Deacon, I promise no party. But, no promises with Old Yeller. That movie is not happy. It is too damned sad!"

"Well, I like it."

"Well, you are not the most happy-go-lucky guy in the world!" Rayna teased.

"Okay, just for that...". And with that, Deacon pounced on Rayna and began tickling her relentlessly until the two of them were breathless.

"Okay, okay. Uncle!" proclaimed Rayna. "You can watch Old Yeller, but I won't join in the sob fest!"

"Alright, fair enough."

"Well we have the house to ourselves, what do you want to do tonight, babe," Rayna asked.

Deacon thought a minute. "Well since you asked, can we read your journal together?" Deacon asked hesitantly.

"I thought you forgot about that. Sure babe. I promised that we would do that together. Why don't you go get it, and I'll make us some popcorn and grab us two tall sweet teas."

Rayna was already ensconced on the sofa sipping her sweet tea when Deacon returned, journal in hand. He handed it to Rayna and settled in beside her grabbing an overflowing handful of popcorn.

"You have a problem lady, you know that."

"Oh, hush! I like butter on my popcorn, what can I say?"

"Ray, you like equal parts butter and popcorn!"

Rayna chuckled and slapped Deacon's chest. "You're not wrong there. Okay message received. I'll go easy on the butter next time."

"Alright, I have the perfect entry to share. Let me see if I can find it. Ah, here it is. Your first birthday after we were together."

"Perfect."

_September 25, 1989_

_Male friends should not be able to have birthdays until you've been friends at least three months._

_Deacon's birthday is in a couple weeks._

_I want to get him something special, but I have no idea what to get him and I don't want to send the wrong message. I know Deacon looks at me like a little sister. I wish he didn't. I think he is super hot, but he is not interested in me as more than a singing partner. I have a feeling he knows his way around women. He wouldn't be interested in a virgin like me._

_October 1, 1989_

_Well, I think I figured out what to get Deacon for his birthday. Yesterday I noticed that his guitar strap is thin and frayed. I'd like to get him a new one, something special. _

_I asked Watty for suggestions. He looked at me strangely and laughed. I'm not sure why. Anyway, he suggested this leather craftsman off Broadway so I'm headed there tomorrow._

_October 4, 1989_

_I may be wrong about Deacon. I saw him checking me out while we were getting set up tonight. It didn't hurt that I had on my shortest jean mini skirt and a top with a plunging neckline. I kind of did it on purpose to see if it got a reaction. Oh, and it got a reaction, not only from Deacon, but from CJ at the Bootery. _

_I picked up Deacon's guitar strap today. CJ did an amazing job! Watty was right, CJ is an extraordinary craftsman._

_I had Deacon's name tooled on the belt with a southwest color palette of deep blues, teals, burgundies, greens, clay, golden yellow and variations of browns. I want everyone to know his name. He thinks he's just a guitar player, but I think he's brilliant and I'm so lucky Watty put us together. I hope he likes it._

_I don't know what I want him to think it means. I like him, (like him, like him) but I don't know if he feels the same. I'm not experienced and I just know he's had lots of women that have been around. All that I know is that when I'm around him, I feel like I've never felt before - horny! If Deacon doesn't make a move soon, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands. Wait, I've done that, now I prefer his hands._

_October 6, 1989_

_Tonight I gave Deacon the guitar strap. He really seemed to like it. He immediately attached it to his Martin. _

_He was real grateful. He seemed to look at me differently after I gave it to him, almost like he had an awakening._

_I went out with him and Vince to a few honkytonks to celebrate. We might have had a little too much to drink. By the end of the night I was slow dancing with Deacon. He was holding me real close. I swear I felt his bulge and he seems to be quite blessed! His cheek was next to my head and I could feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed in my scent (I'm glad I washed my hair with that new lavender coriander shampoo that Tandy gave me)._

_When the song ended, he abruptly pulled away like he suddenly remembered something, almost like he was spooked. He looked at my lips hungrily, but then he just pulled me back to the table._

_At the end of the night, he dropped me at home and gave me an awkward peck on the cheek and thanked me for the strap saying it was the best birthday gift he ever got._

_I was so happy he liked it. Truth be told, I wouldn't have minded if he showed me how much he liked it. He's not like the boys at school. There's something mysterious about him. He is the definition of the tortured artist. He is so sweet and he feels things deeply and he is such a gentleman, unlike the boys from the country club whose main goal is to get in my pants._

_Oh, well, I don't know how long I can wait for him to make a move!_

"Oh, I wanted to show you how much I liked that guitar strap. You do know that when Watty set us up, he threatened me within an inch of my life if I got fresh with you? And, it was downright cruel of you to wear those short skirts and low-cut tops around me in those early days. I'd have to go home and clean my rifle or relieve myself with Samantha Beasley pretty much after every time we played together in those early days."

Rayna chuckled and conceded that it was cruel of her to knowingly flaunt her bosoms in front of him, knowing that he would practically drool when she did.

"I still love that guitar strap, Ray. When I go, I want you to bury me with it, cause that's the only way it's not going to be holding my guitar on my shoulder. I wore it all the time after we weren't together so you would always know you were with me."

"I kind of knew that, babe. That's why I would wear the "I Love You" belt that you had CJ make me for my birthday - so you would know that even though I was with Teddy, you were always in my heart."

"Thanks for sharing that, Ray. I'm glad that you feel comfortable sharing your journal with me."

"I'm flattered that you want to know. I love sharing this with you, Deacon. We're an open book with each other when we write. I already feel that we've been stripped bare in front of each other."

Deacon slid over closer to Rayna and smirked as he slid his hand along her bare legs. "Well,speaking of stripped bare, since were married now and I know Watty won't kick my ass for getting into your pants, I want to show you just how much I appreciated that strap. I'm taking matters into my own hands." And with that, Deacon slid one hand up Rayna's short skirt and ran his other hand under her shirt and gently squeezed her boob while he kissed her deeply as she moaned in his mouth.

"Mmmmm," Rayna mewed. "This married thing has its benefits!"


	3. Chapter 3 - Birthdays

I am borrowing the characters and imaginings of the great Callie Khoury. I do not own these characters.

Sorry this has been so long in coming. Hope you enjoy it! Your comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated

Chapter 3 - Birthdays

There was a major rave going on in the backyard. There had to be about 100, maybe more, scantily clad young men and women jumping in and out of the pool, dancing, more like grinding on each other, and groups of friends chatting and laughing. It was Maddie's 18th birthday and she wanted to do it up right.

Rayna and Deacon were more than happy to oblige, but they wanted to make sure it didn't get out of hand. They stayed out of sight, choosing to wait out the storm in the study, a room they rarely found themselves in. However, they gave strict instructions to the caterer, to report any sketchy behavior to them. And, they insisted that Daphne be allowed to attend. That one couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it.

Happily, the group was relatively well behaved. "You know, if our daughter did what we did at that age, we'd be in for a world of hurt. She gives us some major headaches sometimes, but she's a good kid."

"What do you mean if she 'did what we did at that age?" Rayna said indignantly.

"Come on, Ray. You know damn well what I mean! Let me see, on your 18th birthday we went to lower Broadway with Vince and the band. You were the only one underage. All the guys were buying you shots and you were drinking them. By the last bar, I was doing tequila shooters and lime off your belly button. And, if I remember correctly, when we got back to the apartment you could barely keep your clothes on long enough to make it to the bedroom. Vince almost got the thrill of his life. I ended up fucking you so hard and so long you couldn't walk right the next day."

Rayna grimaced, "I vaguely remember that." She laughed and hit Deacon in the chest. "Yeah, we're lucky our daughter is somewhat tamer than we were."

Daphne suddenly rushed in and interrupted their walk down memory lane. "Hey, kiddo, what's up?" Deacon asked.

"Well, they're getting ready to have a wet t-shirt contest out there. Just thought you might want to know."

Deacon popped up off the coach, "Damn straight we want to know. You wait here Ray; I'll take care of this."

Rayna laughed, and grabbed Deacon's arm. "You relax babe, I'll handle this."

"Party pooper," Deacon yelled after her with a chuckle in his voice.

Rayna went outside and pulled Maddie aside as the girls collected t-shirts from the DJ and slipped them on over their bikini tops then turned around and untied their tops and shimmied them out from under their t-shirts.

"Maddie, if you were on Spring Break, you'd all probably be doing the same thing. But this is at our house and you are a rising country artist. Save yourself and me some headaches please and just ask the DJ to ask everyone in attendance to turn in their cellphones before the contest begins. Y'all can enjoy it. It doesn't need to be snapped, insta'd or uploaded to YouTube. Live in the moment."

"Ok, mom," Maddie replied reluctantly. "I know you are just looking out for our privacy and I respect that."

"Well now, 18 seems to agree with you," Rayna said, proud of how much her daughter had grown up since she came back to the family.

"That's all under control!" Rayna exclaimed, re-entering the room behind Deacon.

"Oh, good. I wouldn't want to have to go out there and see all those young, nubile breasts," Deacon smirked and said in mock indignation.

"Well will these, old lady, once around the block, breasts work for you." Deacon swung his head around and took in his beautiful wife in a soaking wet, see through, white t-shirt clinging to her ample breasts and growled. "Oh yeah, those will do just fine! Wait, you did not..."

And, Rayna cut him off, "...for your eyes only, babe." She walked over to him and straddled him, and he gazed at her breasts hungrily. The t-shirt might as well not be there, he could see everything, including her dark areola and the pink of her hard nipples

"You know I'm a breast man Rayna." And with that, his hands covered her breasts and he squeezed and massaged them while Rayna closed her eyes and moaned. From the first time he held her breasts in his hands, back when Rayna was 17, he always loved that they filled up his hands and easily responded to his ministrations.

His rough thumb brushed her nipple and Rayna jumped a little and hummed. He could feel himself getting excited and she could feel his cock straining against his jeans. He slipped his hands under her shirt and roughly tweaked her nipples and Rayna screamed a little, adrenaline and desire rushing through her body.

Rayna suddenly pulled away from Deacon, breathless. "Bedroom. Now."

Deacon didn't need to be told twice. He wanted to pounce on her right then and there, but it wouldn't bode well for them if the girls or guests or help walked in on them in a compromising situation. So, Deacon let her grab his hand. He followed in quick pursuit up the back stairway.

When they got to their room, he practically slammed the door shut and hastily locked it. He wrapped his body around Rayna and rubbed his groin against her, aching for her. Her lips found his and she gave herself to him. He walked her back to the bed and pushed her down on it a little roughly, but she had him so damned worked up.

###

"Oh, God, babe, have I told you how hot you are? Seriously. You're still that same hot virgin I turned into a woman 30 years ago!"

Rayna slapped his chest. "You lie, but I'll take it."

"I don't lie, and you know damn well you drive me crazy or you wouldn't have come prancing into the study in that wet t-shirt."

Rayna laughed and just buried her head in his chest. "Well as fun as that was, we are the parents now, so we better get ourselves put together and get back to our perch."

"Ugh!" Deacon groaned throwing his legs over the side of the bed as he started to get dressed. Rayna, still naked came up behind him and wrapped her body around him, pressing her breasts into his back.

"To be continued," she said soft and seductively as she planted kisses on his back before springing off the bed in search of her jeans and a dry top.

###

It was after midnight now and a lot of the guests had gotten dressed and were just lounging around the pool and the music had quieted down.

Deacon and Rayna had migrated to the family room and had just finished a movie. Rayna was snuggled into Deacon's side as they sat in silence enjoying each other's company.

Daphne had long ago snuck up to bed. She wanted to hang with her sister, but she still had a lot of little girl in her - for which Rayna and Deacon were mighty grateful.

Maddie made her way in the house and just stared for a minute unnoticed. "I can't believe there was a time that you two weren't together."

Deacon rubbed Rayna's arm, "Hard for me to believe either."

"Come sit with us for a minute," Rayna invited.

"Sure, what is it mom?" Maddie asked as she curled into Rayna's side.

"There's something I want to give you for your birthday."

"I thought the new Gibson was my gift."

"Well, yeah, but there is something I want to give back to you for your birthday." Rayna explained as she saw perplexed looks on Maddie and Deacon's faces. "I took your father from you for 13 years and I'll never forgive myself for that." Rayna quickly put her hand up as soon as she saw Maddie and Deacon try to interject. "I was hoping that it wouldn't always be like that. I was hoping that one day you would get to share these milestones as father and daughter."

"Maddie, your father and I have been reading my diary the last couple months to help heal, to help us know each other better, to fill in those 'missing years'. We didn't get to your birthday entries, but I taped and wrote about each one. Y'all may not recall, but Deacon was at most of them even though he didn't know he was your father. I'd like to give you those memories back. I'd like to share my diary and the videos with you sometime.

Deacon and Maddie looked at each other a little wistfully. Maddie looked back at Rayna hopefully, "Now is a good time."

"Oh, it's late. There's no rush."

"Maddie, get the popcorn. Ray get the diary and videos. I'll pay the DJ and turn out the back lights. We'll clean up tomorrow. I want to celebrate my baby girls' birthdays."

"Really? Okay."

They met back in the living room about 15 minutes later. Rayna was the first one back. She had the video in the VCR on pause and she was wrapped in a blanket. When Deacon and Maddie joined her on the couch, she spread the blanket over them. The sweet tea was on a tray on the unused footrest and the popcorn was perched on the blanket in front of Rayna.

Rayna flipped to the bookmark in her diary. "You ready y'all?"

Deacon and Maddie responded impatiently, in unison, "yes!"

"Okay, this is from Maddie's first birthday." With that Rayna started the video. There are more adults then kids and it seems like quit the major to-do. There are pink balloons everywhere; a massive tent filled with tables with pink tablecloths. The little girls at the party had on tiaras and the boys had crowns and capes. Maddie had on a little white A-line dress with a crinoline skirt, a huge pink sash and bow and an eyelet bodice with capped sleeves. Her wispy hair was gathered on her head with a crooked, clipped pink bow. Rayna laughed lovingly at the image of her daughter. "You were always being groomed to be the 'Princess of Country Music'.

There were a lot of adults there - clearly not just parents of the kids. The adults were in casual, but polished attire. The men were in dockers and button-down oxfords and the women were in dress pants or sun dresses. No jeans and t-shirts...except for Deacon who was awkwardly standing there with a gift in his arms.

"Oh, I remember that. I wasn't quite sure why you invited me. I stood out like a prop in a "what one does not look like the others" pictogram. Teddy was throwing me serious shade all day, kinda like he was afraid I'd steal the sterling silverware!"

"No, babe. He was afraid you'd steal his wife and daughter," Rayna said sadly, hurting a bit for Teddy and what it must have been like for him knowing before Rayna knew that her and Deacon and Maddie were inevitable.

They continued to watch the video while Rayna read her diary entry.

_When I look in my baby's eyes all I see is him staring back – his eyes, his soul. His and mine together in this beautiful being we've created. Oh, God, if Teddy knew I felt this way it would just kill him. But I hate that I can't share this with Deacon. I just don't see any other path. Not one that isn't paved with more pain and loss. I can't stand it though. It's eating away at me. It wears me down. Each day I pick up the phone to call him. Each day I lose my nerve._

_I'm so grateful that he was here today. I want him to know Maddie, to love her. Even if he doesn't know that she is his. I know that is silly. Who truly loves someone else's child?  
_

_One day. One day I'll be strong enough to tell Deacon. One day he'll be strong enough to know the truth and not go back to that dark place that consumed him and broke our hearts. God help me I love him, still. I'll love him 'til the day I die. _

_When he knows, I hope he'll forgive me, but I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. I stole our daughter, our future. Will Maddie ever forgive me? _

_She is so much like him, it's scary. How does he not see it? He probably doesn't see it because he couldn't conceive that I could ever be that deceitful or hurtful. That makes this all the harder. I know he still loves me as much as I love him. _

_I did this for him. I did this for Maddie. I love Teddy for doing this for us. But, when I look back 20 years from now, will I say the same? Will they know and forgive me?_

The question hung out there as Rayna finished reading. The video ended and all was quiet. Rayna kept her head down. Deacon and Maddie looked at one another with tear-stained faces. Maddie spoke first. "Mom, I can't imagine what you went through or being in the position you were in. It sounds like it weighed heavy on your heart. I am grateful though that you made sure Deacon was in my life through those years before I knew he was my dad. And, I'm real glad you two found your way back to one another."

"Thank you, Maddie. I honestly don't know if I would forgive me. I love you so much."

Deacon squeezed Rayna's hand. "Babe, you know I've put this behind us. We're here now. I'm focused on our future and being a Dad to these two beautiful girls and being the husband, you deserve. I never stopped loving you Ray, and I never will."

"You two are more than I deserve. It's late. How about we pick this back up this weekend?" Rayna tiredly exclaimed.

"Sure, Mom. Love you."

Deacon and Rayna watched as Maddie made her way upstairs. They turned to one another and Deacon reached out and gently stroked Rayna's cheek. "I know that wasn't easy for you to share, Ray. But I'm glad you did. It means a lot to me and I think it was important for her to hear, too."

"I'm sorry you hurt for all those years and I couldn't be there for you. I won't lie, it took me awhile to forgive you and forgive me. But you know I never stopped loving you."

"I know, babe. I'm tired, let's go to bed. Right now, I just want to be wrapped in your arms."


	4. Chapter 4

I am borrowing the characters and imaginings of the great Callie Khoury. I do not own these characters.

Sorry this has been so long in coming. Hope you enjoy it! Your comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 4

Rayna, Deacon and Daphne were sitting at the dinner table when Maddie strolled in with a dreamy look and a goofy smile plastered on her face.

"Hey girl!" Deacon called to Maddie. "What's up?"

Maddie collected herself and blushed like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Nothing. Why?"

"You had a date tonight, didn't you?" Rayna called her out. She knew that look on Maddie's face well and she wanted to find out just how worried her and Deacon should be.

"Yes. Why?"

"Why don't you have a seat and tell us all about it." Rayna encouraged.

Daphne egged her on. "Yes, tell us all the gory details! Did he kiss you?"

Deacon saw Maddie's obvious discomfort, so he ran interference. He wanted her to feel free to share things with all of them. "Alright, Daphne. Give your sister a break. Dads don't want to know the 'gory details'! What can you tell us about this guy?"

"Well, he's a musician. Surprise, surprise. In fact, he's a pretty well-known session musician here in Nashville. Dane Cahill. You might know him."

"Yeah, I do. I had him sit in with Juliette a few months back on a track she was laying down. He's pretty impressive! Not as good as your father, but then again, your father is the best in the business. But, he's respectable and not bad to look at." Rayna gave Maddie a reassuring smile. She could see that her praise helped to put Maddie at ease.

Deacon squeezed Rayna's hand and ran his thumb over the inside of her wrist.

"So, score one for Dane. He plays a mean guitar, so that is a plus and he looks dreamy. What else can you tell us?" Deacon probed.

"Well, he's a real southern gentleman. He held the door for me. He stood up when I stood up. He introduced me to his friends. I know. I know. I'm a strong, independent woman, but most men today are hardly gentlemen. They ignore you when their friends come around. They barely notice if you leave the table and they let the door slam in your face. It was nice to be with someone who has manners and knows how to treat a lady."

"Glad to hear that there are still some gentlemen out there." Rayna cooed. Impressed.

Daphne jumped in, eager to pose her question. "But, is he a good kisser?"

"Daphne!" Deacon chided. "Whad I say about there being some things Daddies just don't want to hear!"

"Okay. Well close your ears, because sisters want to know!"

Rayna giggled and gave Deacon a playful shoulder bump. "Yeah. Close your ears. Inquiring minds want to know."

"Okay. Okay. You ladies win."

Maddie shook it off. "Sorry. I don't kiss and tell."

Looking to change the subject and redirect the spotlight, Maddie asked her parents, "When did you first know that you loved each other?"

Rayna and Deacon looked at each other and laughed and said, almost simultaneously, "Not the first time we met."

"Hey Ray, I love what you wrote in your journal about that night. I think the girls will enjoy hearing that story. What do you say you pull it out and share it with the girls? They've only heard the PR version. Why don't you tell them in your own words about when you realized I was your one true love."

"Yeah, Mom. Maddie said you read your journal to her. I'd like to hear." Daphne pleaded.

"Okay. Give me a minute. Why don't we all get in our pjs and meet back here in 15 minutes."

Rayna and Deacon went up to the bedroom to change and grab the journal. "Do you think this is the best idea, babe?" Rayna asked. "That entry is a little PG-17."

"Our little girls are women now, baby. I think they need to hear the story from you. I also believe that hearing what true love is will help them to understand it's not just a 'dreamy', polite guy that fusses over you and holds the door for you, but someone that is there for you unconditionally."

Rayna wrapped her arms around Deacon's neck and purred, "Have I ever told you how smart you are?"

Deacon chuckled and pulled Rayna closer and smiled as he kissed her. "No. But you have told me a time or two that I can be a complete idiot sometimes!"

Rayna pulled back and playfully slapped Deacon's chest. "I love you so damn much, babe. And I intend on showing you tonight. So, let's get the journal and hightail it downstairs."

The girls were waiting, wrapped in polar fleece onesies, gripping hot chocolates with looks of great anticipation on their faces.

When Rayna and Deacon sat down, Daphne jumped up and nestled into Rayna's side. Rayna squeezed her, thrilled that Daphne still liked to cuddle even though she was a 'cool' teenager. Maddie sat on a chair next to Deacon and pulled her legs under her. Rayna opened the journal, cleared her throat and patted Deacon's leg for reassurance.

"Y'all know that your father and I met at the Bluebird and Dad wrote "A Life That's Good" the night we met. Well that is all true. And, there was an instant, undeniable spark between us. But, I didn't really fall in love with him until a few months after we met."

"I know y'all will find this hard to believe, but your mother was headstrong. And, if I'm being honest, I was, too."

"Watty didn't think my guitar playing was up to par so he brought in Deacon to teach me. Course I thought I played guitar just fine. And your father didn't appreciate that I dismissed his instruction. But God bless him he kept coming back. He kept trying until he wore me down and convinced me just to bring him on as my guitar player." Rayna pecked Deacon's lips as she basked in the memory of their blossoming love.

Rayna cleared her throat. "Alright. Here goes."

_I turned 17 tonight. I didn't get a car or have a party at the Country Club or even have a cake. But this was the best birthday ever. _

_Tandy treated me to lunch at The Hermitage Hotel. I'd rather have gone to the Loveless Café, but I knew Tandy thought that I should have something special and The Hermitage was special for her. She gave me a beautiful silk blouse. I didn't want to offend her, but I looked at it and thought about where on earth I would wear it these days. My wardrobe primarily consists of t-shirts from bars and concerts, jeans and jean skirts. _

_At least Tandy made an effort. She even asked how Deacon was, but still made it clear that he wasn't good enough for me. At least she tried. More than I can say for my father. I haven't talked to him since I was kicked out seven months ago. I don't know why I thought my birthday might compel him to reach out to me. He never approved of me and my music and he never will. And he still holds Deacon responsible for "soiling" his "little girl"._

_If he only knew._

"Mom. Why did Pawpaw think Dad wasn't good enough?" Maddie asked.

"Simple, honey. Pawpaw didn't know Deacon. Your father is the best man I ever knew. He's strong and giving and generous and there is nothing he wouldn't do for us."

Daphne was wide-eyed. She didn't know this side of Lamar. She only saw the kind, loving old man that delighted when she sang for him and showered her and Maddie with gifts. "Pawpaw really kicked you out of the house?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes. Yes, he did. He didn't want me to play music for a living or associate with Deacon. But music and Deacon are the same thing. They are my life blood and I couldn't live without either of them."

Deacon pulled Rayna's head down on his shoulder and gave her a hug. Rayna looked in his eyes and silently said 'I love you'.

"Guys! Really! You're doing it again – that eye sex thing. We're right here."

Rayna blushed, straightened herself up and continued.

_When I got home from my afternoon with Tandy, Deacon was waiting for me. He had on his Sunday best – clean jeans and a pressed flannel shirt. The apartment was clean. There were candles everywhere. And, Vince was nowhere in sight. He looked nervous. It was so cute._

_The table was set. He gently took me in his arms, wished me a happy birthday and kissed me thoroughly. He is such a good kisser. I thought I was going to melt right there._

_After dinner he brought me a chocolate, chocolate cupcake with a mountain of icing with one single candle and he handed me a package, clumsily wrapped. I unwrapped the package and inside was his Johnny Cash "Highwayman" tour t-shirt. His favorite. He apologized that it wasn't much but hoped that my wish would come true. _

_I put on my t-shirt and Deacon pulled out his guitar and we huddled together and sang and played music most all of the night. I felt so free and genuinely happy._

_This was about the best birthday I ever had._

_Ever since mama died, I dreaded birthdays. Until now, I thought that she was the only one that could truly love me for me._

_Now I know there is someone else in this world that loves me and someone that I love._

_Yes, this has been the best birthday ever!_

"Mom, Dad, that is so sweet!" Maddie gushed.

"Dad you were such a romantic! I bet Mom would not be impressed by a used t-shirt today!" Daphne teased.

"I beg your pardon, missy. I am not a diva. It is the thought that counts! And, Dad knew that t-shirt was my absolute favorite. And, every time I wore it, I felt safe and secure and loved. That, my sweet girl, is priceless."

"What about that air fryer that Dad got you for Christmas? That went over like a flat note!"

Deacon to the rescue. "Alright. Alright. Leave your mama be. I for one love that story. And, over the years I've given your mama some very sentimental and not expensive gifts and she has lavished some unspeakable appreciation on me."

"Okay. I've heard enough. I'm out of here." Maddie declared.

Daphne got up and kissed her mom's cheek. "I liked it. Thanks for sharing that. I hope I find a man like Dad someday."

Deacon grabbed Daphne and gave her a bear hug. "Thanks, Squirt. I love you."

"Goodnight girls."

When the girls were out of earshot, Deacon chided Rayna, "Chicken!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Rayna asked innocently.

"You sanitized that story a bit."

"Well, come on, babe. I can hardly share with my daughters how I wore that t-shirt and only that t-shirt that night while you had your way with me all night long! That was a happy birthday, indeed."

"Yeah, you're right. That probably would have scarred them for life. Alright, whadya say? How about we head to bed, too."

"Sure."

While Deacon dove into the bathroom to get changed and cleaned up, Rayna rifled through her dresser until she found that old Johnny Cash t-shirt. She slipped it on and sprawled seductively on the top of the bed.

"Good Lord, woman are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Deacon exclaimed as he stepped out of the bathroom and took in every inch of his wife's bare-naked legs from her red-painted toes to here well-toned, sun-kissed thighs. His mouth watered and he laughed as he devoured her with his eyes. He chuckled and said to her huskily as he jumped onto the bed beside her, "The t-shirt's a little tight around your chest, babe."

"Well then, I'll just have to take it off."

"Yes. You'll just have to take it off. And, by the way, I intend to have my way with you all night long!"


	5. Chapter 5

I am borrowing the characters and imaginings of the great Callie Khoury. I do not own these characters.

Your comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

###

Chapter 5 – Painful Decisions

Rayna was running late. She should have been home two hours ago, but as per usual these days, Bucky had a fire she had to deal with before she could leave for the day. Highway 65 was finally, comfortably in the black, but diva artists were high maintenance and she didn't want a repeat of the great Marcus Keen disaster.

When she finally walked in the door, she spied Deacon sitting in the chair facing the kitchen, just staring off into space with a pensive, concerned look on his face.

"A penny for your thoughts," Rayna prompted.

"Oh, hey, Ray. I didn't hear you come in."

Rayna knew that when Deacon got like this, she had to tread carefully and try to draw out what he needed to get off his chest. "What's going on Deacon? Did you see Coleman, today? Tandy told me he was in town."

"I did. But you know Ray, it brought up some old stuff." There it is, thought Rayna. "Some old resentment that is always just under the surface. Questions like how could Cole sell me out? Why did he never believe that you and I could be together?" Deacon hesitated like he was thinking whether he should verbalize what he was thinking. In the end, his heart won out over his head. "Why would you listen to him, Ray? Why did you let him talk you into giving my daughter to Teddy?"

"Come on now, Deacon. Are we going to go down that rabbit hole again?" Rayna agitatedly asked. "I thought we agreed to put that behind us and just look to this wonderful life we have now and the promise of the future."

"I know, Ray, and you're right. I'm the luckiest man alive. I got you and Maddie and Daphne, and we have this beautiful house, our music and Highway 65. But I can't help but wonder how you could have just walked away." Deacon said without animosity, but with blinding curiosity.

Rayna conceded that for Deacon to find peace she was going to have to take him back to that time, the very moment she made the decision to leave him behind and allow Teddy to be Maddie's father.

"Deacon, I think it might answer some questions if I share my journal from that time in my life. I felt I had no other option. You'll also hear how I came to that decision and how it truly shredded me. Why don't you come up to our bedroom and I'll get my journal. This is one entry I want to keep between us."

"Thanks, babe. I need to hear this."

"I know you do. It's long overdue."

They ascended the stairs with Deacon's arm wrapped lovingly around Rayna's shoulders and her's around his waist. He needed that connectedness. He needed to feel her strength. He wanted, no needed to hear this, but he was scared. Scared to hear what Rayna saw then. Afraid that the Deacon she saw was a washed up, monster.

When they entered their bedroom, Rayna led him to the settee and Deacon sat down. Rayna retrieved her journal from her nightstand and settled herself in Deacon's side. She opened the journal and placed her empty hand on Deacon's knee, looked in his scared, sad eyes then closed hers and gently kissed him.

She began.

9/06/99

_Tomorrow I'm going to tell Deacon about the baby. I can't not tell Deacon. I just know it's his. Teddy and I have been so careful. I don't know what will happen. I'm so scared. Coleman told me Deacon went berserk when he heard I was seeing Teddy and he's drinking again._

_Maybe, just maybe if he knows about the baby he'll change. Maybe this will be what makes him stop drinking. God knows he can't stop for me. _

_I'm just so confused. I'm mad because he's not here. I'm devastated because he's not here. I want him to love me enough to pull himself up. I don't know what life looks like without Deacon. All I know right now is I have someone that I'm going to be responsible for and I'm terrified to do it alone._

Rayna paused and looked up. Deacon hung his head and raised his eyes to look at her. He was mortified and sad, but he needed to hear more.

09/07/99

_I went to the cabin today. Tandy insisted on coming with me._

_What I saw broke my heart. Deacon was drunk and inconsolable. He was trashing everything in the cabin._

_I wanted to go to him, to tell him. But Tandy was adamant. She is scared for me and the baby. I'm scared of losing Deacon to his demons and if I have to admit it, I'm scared for the baby. God knows Deacon would never knowingly do anything to harm a child, but when he gets on these downward spirals, he can't be accountable for his actions. I can take the black and blue marks and hurtful words, because I know he doesn't mean them, but a child can't and shouldn't have to._

_If Deacon accidentally did anything to harm the baby, he would not be able to forgive himself and he wouldn't be able to come back from the devastation._

09/10/99

_Everyone is telling me to let him go. How can I let him go? I love him. He is the best man I know. He'd do anything for me._

_But lately he isn't the man I know he can be._

_Teddy asked me to marry him. I don't love Teddy, at least not as much or more than Deacon. He's nice and he is willing to accept my baby whether or not he is the father._

_I love Deacon. He is my world. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling this is his baby - mine and his - ours. I don't know if he is ready for a child right now. I don't know if I'm ready for a child or if I'll be a good mother. I know that he would love our child, more than life itself. He is a good man despite his problems. He wants to be a good man._

Rayna paused and looked up at Deacon. His eyes were filled with tears ready to spill over onto his cheeks. Despite the pain the words invoked, his eyes pleaded with her to continue. He brushed back a stray hair from Rayna's face and nodded his head for her to continue.

_I've talked with Tandy and Cole. They both think I should let Deacon go. Cole doesn't know about the baby. He just feels that I'm part of Deacon's addiction and the only way for him to get better is for me to let him go. He needs to get sober for himself, not for me._

_Tandy is scared for me and the baby. She wants me to marry Teddy. She feels that Teddy loves me and will be a good father for the baby. He'll provide a safe and structured life for us. He is respected in the community and has daddy's seal of approval._

_I could give a damn whether daddy likes him or not. Daddy's opinion stopped meaning anything to me the day he kicked me out of the house._

_I love Deacon so much. I want him to get better. Maybe Coleman is right. Maybe I'm the problem. Me and a baby may be too much for Deacon. I'm scared. I can't do this alone. And, truth be told, I'll probably be ostracized from country music if I have a child out of wedlock. I've spent too long building my career to just throw it away and I know Deacon wouldn't want me to do that._

_God help me and God help Deacon. I'm going to say "yes" to Teddy and pray that Deacon gets better and one day we'll be together. I know that is so wrong, but if we don't end up together, it will be my cross and my cross only to bear. I can't stand the thought of Deacon suffering. I can't stand the thought of a world, my world, without Deacon._

Rayna closed the journal slower and took a breath. She rubbed Deacon's hand and turned to him. "Deacon, I didn't want this history. I wanted you so badly. You have to know that it tore me to pieces every day since I made that decision. But at the same time, I look back now and think that I would have made that decision again. For all the hurt and pain, you have come out the other side a stronger man - sober, a wonderful father, and the best husband."

M

Deacon took Rayna's hand and with his other gently wiped the tears rolling down her cheek. "Ray, if I were you, I would have probably done the same. It pains me to say that, but perhaps that is what I needed to get to this place."

"Babe, I love you so damn much." Rayna stood up and offered her hand to Deacon and pulled him up so that he was standing in front of her. She caressed his face and stared into his eyes then down at his lips. She leaned in and softly laid her lips on his. He began kissing her lazily at first until the fire lit his belly and he hungrily began to devour her lips. His tongue begged for entrance with no resistance. He savored the taste of her. His hands joined his mouth in their frenzied exploration. He pulled her blouse from her pants and ran his hands underneath. Her warm, smooth skin greeted him. His rough hands caused Rayna to gasp as they kneaded and stroked her back and then her breasts.

Rayna began to lose control. He could do that to her, even now. He was still the man that taught her about sex and pleasure and the only man that could give her multiple, mind-blowing orgasms. She thrust her hips into his and began grinding into the bulge threatening to burst through his jeans.

Deacon smiled. He loved that he could get her so worked up, still. It was the biggest turn on - her unrelenting need to have him inside her. He loved playing the game with her. He rubbed against her and slipped his hand between her legs and stroked her center through her jeans. He could feel her wetness and knew that it wouldn't be long before she would need for them to shed their clothes. He offered her some help by pushing her blouse down her arms to the floor. She let him know she needed more by pushing her breasts tantalizingly into his chest until he unsnapped her bra in one easy motion and laved her right nipple while squeezing and tweaking the left until she reached down to grasp his t-shirt and pull it over his head. She urgently grabbed his belt loops and guided him to the bed and on top of her.

She laid underneath him and trapped him between her legs. He quickly unsnapped her jeans and jimmied them and her red lacy panties together down her long legs as he adored them and paid homage to them with his mouth. When he came back up and he breathed on her sex, Rayna bucked and moaned loudly. Deacon looked up at her, pleased with himself and so damned turned on.

As much as Rayna loved the attention from his mouth, she needed him in her. She grabbed his shoulders and guided him up her body. Deacon kept her occupied with his mouth while working furiously to relieve himself of his jeans. Once he shed them, Rayna rubbed her body against his to feel his hard, rough contours. Then to his surprise, she pushed him up to his knees and flipped over and got on all fours. Deacon smirked and slapped Rayna's perfect little ass then slammed into her.

"Oh, God, Deacon. I can feel every delicious inch of you."

Deacon began pumping into her like a speeding locomotive until they both fell over the edge. He held onto her waist, relishing being inside her until his body slowed and their breathing returned to normal.

Deacon pulled out and Rayna rolled over on her back. She reached up and gently stroked Deacon's cheek. "Nobody loves me like you. Nobody ever has and nobody ever will."

M

Deacon smiled, pulled Rayna on top of him and slowly ran his hand up and down her back and through her hair, just savoring the reality of having her to in his arms, eventually falling into a comfortable, peaceful, satisfying slumber.

When Rayna heard Deacon's even, deep breathing and was certain he was asleep, she grabbed her journal and a pen from her nightstand.

04/22/18

_I am the luckiest woman alive. I don't know what I did to deserve Deacon Claybourne, but he is the man I knew he could be when I fell in love with him at 16. I'm loved by a good man. I couldn't ask for more._


End file.
